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Denham 1st XI v Englefield 1st XI

July 26th 2008

Special Report From 'The Commentator'

On a glorious sunny day at the Way and Tillard Memorial Ground, Denham entertained Englefield in the bottom of the table clash, with the wicket looking like a cricket wicket not like the strip of grass at Winchmore Hill prepared last week, so well done to the groundsman in producing good wickets in the last few weeks.

Back to the match. The toss was won by skipper Simpson who decided to field first despite rumblings from the 5 other captains in the dressing room who wanted to bat first due to the hot weather. Denham started well with opening bowlers of Mahmood and O’Hara who bowled tightly and O’Hara was shortly to be rewarded with the wicket of Standland for 12 LBW and Woodford soon joined him in the dressing room with a superb leg cutter from Mahmood to take his middle stump (De Villiers would have had trouble in keeping it out). Herwe should had followed shortly after but was dropped at 2nd slip by Richie Braithwaite, a partnership began to build with Herwe and Sullivan and Herwe was again dropped this time by wicket keeper Stuart Payne, who again gave some excuse which didn’t make any sense or had any relevance on why he dropped it (Is he Gordon Brown's PR Advisor?).

After this Simpson decided to bring himself on and was immediately rewarded with the wicket of Sullivan (36) caught at gully by Usman Khan and Thakadurus was bowled shortly afterwards by Khan for 1 with a ball that kept very low (the only one of the day).

In came Wahab who had obviously been watching T20 Finals day at the Rose Bowl in the clubhouse and decided to bat in that fashion in dispersing Simpson for 14 in one over, before he was bowled by Khan for 17 despite their being disagreements in the field placings between him and the 5 other captains. Herwe was still accumulating runs and grateful for the cat lives he was given by the Denham fielders, and just before Khan spell was to end he removed Vat for 28 LBW.

Bobby Bandana Rai came in attack but found it hard to keep his concentration as one of his colleagues was constantly talking what I can only describe as utter NONSENSE and the person was promptly dispatched to point by the actual skipper Simpson to allow Rai to continue his spell.

O’Hara then came back into the attack and was rewarded with skipper White (13) caught by wicket-keeper Payne with a Boucher style low down catch to his right (No this was not a imposter in the field). With Mahmood and O’Hara keeping the bowling tight at the end Denham eventually restricted Englefield to 241 for 7 off 52 overs.

Tea was then taken - a delightful spread prepared by Mr and Mrs Simpson and was well served by Sheila Nicholas despite the ramblings from O’Hara regarding the scones (not sure what he was going on about).

Denham began their reply with the new opening partnership of Indy Singh and Premal Mehta who they managed to put on 30 for the 1st wicket (the largest opening partnership of the season - which just shows you how dire our batting has been this season), before Singh was caught by Sathar for 12 in his Cheese cutter flat cap and pair of trainers (which could only be worn by Stuart Payne, fair play to the chap who fielded everything that went to him in immaculate manner and caught everything that went to him, maybe Denham should hire him as fielding coach).

In came Maynard who was just beginning to adjust himself to the pace of the pitch before he stupidly played on for 10, next in was the monster Usman Khan who began to dispatch the bowling to all parts of the ground including twice in a Badgers hole where the ball was retrieved by the Paul Richards and Joe O’Hara assistant Daniel. Khan was well supported by Mehta who played some nice cover drives a pull shots, these 2 took the score onto 171 for 2 before Khan was caught by Vat of the bowling of White for 74.

At this point Betfair betting was No offers on Denham and 100/1 Englefield. It looked like some of the players decided to have a bet on Englefield because there was a almighty collapse with Mehta being bowled for 62 (great knock) by Wahab. O'Hara was soon to follow for 9 (LBW) looking to take the windows out in Denham village, while Richards (0) was bowled by Wahab and Braithwaite was out for 0 LBW which now left the score at 204 for 7.

In came Rai who should had been batting at Number 7 but thought the game was over and went off to the cash point machine to collect his tour money much to the annoyance of the skipper but he made up for his sins with a mature and sensible knock in playing himself in without doing anything stupid but most importantly kept the scoreboard ticking with Mahmood (11), who was caught by a glorious catch by Sullivan.

Simpson was now in with Rai and they moved the score to within 4 of victory with some good shots from Rai (17), who was then caught behind by Standland off the bowling of Thackaduras.

This then brought [Sir] Stuart Payne to the wicket (Nickname= Oil Digger, Age= Don’t Know, Favourite Band= Don’t Know probably Simple Minds, Bat= Slazenger V500 2lb 5ozs and Ice bath Buddy= His own voice) with 4 needed from 1.1 over’s remaining and he was told not to dig for oil today and there are plenty reserves in the Middle East. His 1st ball was an elegant leg glance for 2 which Simpson tried to make into 3 to no avail.

Now for the last over with 2 runs needed and Simpson facing. He defended the first 2 deliveries, then took a leg bye on the 3rd delivery. The scores were now level but it was Payne facing the dangerous opening bowler Wahab. Payne simply gave himself some room and played a drive shot over mid off’s head for 4 leaving the Denham faithful ecstatic (which included the chairman who had no nails left to bite). The moral of this story is: The game is not over until the fat lady starts singing.

Englefield Innings

J.Herwe Not Out 64

P.Stanland LBW B.J’OHara 12

P.Woodford B . F Mahmood 2

D.Sullivan Ct. U Khan B. J Simpson 36

E.Thackaduras B. U Khan 1

H.Wahab B U Khan 17

N.Vat LBW B U Khan 28

R.White Ct. S Payne B J’O Hara 13

A.Busby Not Out 31

Total 241 for 7 off 52 Overs

Denham Bowlers (Bowler O M Runs Wkts)

F.Mahmood 13 3 42 1

J.O’Hara 15 3 52 2

U.Khan 8 1 31 3

J Simpson 7 0 34 1

B.Rai 9 0 55 0

Denham Innings

I.Singh Ct. A Sathar B N Vat 12

P.Mehta B H Wahab 62

D Maynard B D Sullivan 10

U Khan Ct. N Vat B R White 74

J O’Hara LBW B R White 9

P Richards B H Wahab 0

F Mahmood Ct. D Sullivan B H Wahab 1

R Braithwaite LBW B H Wahab 0

B Rai Ct. D Stanland B E Thakaduras 17

J Simpson Not Out 3

S Payne Not Out 5

Total 242 for 9 off 47.5 Overs

Englefield Bowlers (Bowler O M Runs Wkts)

H.Wahab 15 1 47 3

N.Vat 8 1 40 1

D.Sullivan 4 0 34 1

E.Thackduras 10 3 32 1

R White 11 0 58 3

Denham 20 pts Englefield 9 pts

Denham are up to 8th, ahead of Englefield. Taplow won again and are now 26 points A ahead of Winchmore Hill, with Wraysbury (lost again) down to third one point behind them.

Next week home to Chalfont St Giles.

Englefield 2nd XI v Denham 2nd XI

July 26th 2008

A bad day at the office

Denham were inserted and scored a paltry 152 all out.

Englefield got them for the loss of just 3 wickets. Nuff said.

Denham 4 pts Englefield 20 pts

Little Marlow hung on for a losing draw again and are now down to third, while Wargrave crushed Coleshill to move up to second, and leaders Braywood pickede up 15 points in a winning draw to stay a couple of points ahead of Wargrave. Denham are back down to seventh.

Next game: away at Wargrave.

Sunday XI