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Englefield 1st XI v Denham 1st XI

July 1st 2006

Dave Maynard 's Report

Denham stand in skipper Dave Maynard won the toss on a scorching hot day and decided to field and with some good bowling managed to restrict the opposition Englefield to 236-8 off 50 overs, with Joe O' Hara, Jamil Shaikh and the unlucky Jack Grover the pick of the bowlers.

The stage was set again for the invincible Khan to hit his 4th century of the season. A blistering 128 with some breathtaking strokes all over the ground. He was well supported by Bobby Rai with a good 60.

Denham reached the Englefield target with 10 overs to spare.

Denham 20 pts, Englefield 6 pts

Next game Away at Winchmore hill.

Denham 2nd XI v Little Kingshill 2nd XI

July 1st 2006

Skipper Mark Dalton's Report

Denham down to 9 men even before kick off......

My major gripe this week is with the England football team. They call themselves a team but can they play football ? well no it's plainly obvious. This week the England players will be doing exactly the same as me: watching the World Cup semi-finals from the comfort of their own living rooms! Pah! Thanks for nothing boys!

Now if you wanted team spirit, The Way and Tillard Memorial Cricket Ground (the home of Denham cricket club) was the place to be on Saturday afternoon. The toss was lost (nothing new there) and we were asked (nay requested) to field.

The details of the game are reasonably academic but I want to applaud the eight other team members who worked tirelessly and did not give up or let heads drop for the 49 long, hot overs in which we were in the field. Little Kings batted well, we bowled and fielded well with the limited resources available. Akhil and Simo bowled 15 overs each and did not wilt from their task. Lt Kings 264 for 6 declared.

Simpson (37), Payne (30) and JK (37) applied themselves with the bat and did a good job. Well done to them. However the remaining 6 wickets contributed a paltry 18 runs. Not good enough really but then who, having spent three and half hours running around a field getting hot and sweaty, really wanted to hold a 3lb piece of willow to try and twat a piece of cork bound in red leather? 122 all out (for 8 really).

And England still can't take penalties. Who were the real winners on Saturday ? the 9 players who played for the Denham CC 2nd XI. Thanks to Little Kingshill for not trying to rub our noses in it when we were probably down and out before we started (and providing a good contribution to bar sales after the game).

Denham 4 pts, Little Kingshill 30 pts

Next game Home v Amersham Hill.

Knotty Green XI Versus Sunday XI

Sunday July 2nd

Russell Bowry 's Report

A single sentence should suffice for Denham’s visit to Knotty Green on Sunday; it was absolute guff.

But for the benefit of those who weren’t playing here is a little elaboration.

Denham wisely chose to bat first in roasting conditions. They batted positively throughout the innings and declared at 227 for 9 off 37 overs. Dave Maynard returned to form and top scored with 55, and James Nicholas collected a cheap 47. There were other nice little knocks but no-one could be arsed to make a big score and nearly everyone threw their wickets away.

Tea was hastily prepared shortly after the declaration, which meant that the players were sitting around letting negative thoughts enter their heads. And the tea was not worth waiting for. There were no surprises in a bland and poorly presented affair. At this point a strong captain would have announced “this is dross, we are going home.” Unfortunately Nicholas just moaned along with everyone else and we had to stand in the field for 3 hours as Knotty chased down the runs to win by 3 wkts.

One of their players twatted 162* but he was blatantly lbw, and dropped a lot, so if I were him I wouldn’t get all big-headed about it. But he did play some nice shots and Denham were fairly beaten, largely because they fielded dreadfully. The bowlers worked hard, and Hemen got a hatrick, which was the champagne moment. Unfortunately the ICC have called his action suspect, and will begin investigations shortly – but the hatrick stands, so well done.

In the player’s defence it should be mentioned that the weather was far too hot for cricket. It was far more suitable to riding around in a helicopter with a telescope trying to catch out topless sunbathers who haven’t realised that whilst land is private, the air is a public good and therefore perverts are doing nothing wrong. Rather, the topless sunbathers should be sent to some sort of camp where they can rethink there lives and realise that they should be making more important contributions to the world than a nicely tanned cleavage. But there are no objective moral values, and I am probably rationalising my misogyny. I just hope one day that everything’s going to be fine.